It is a weird and anxiety ridden time at the moment and we are all feeling apprehensive of what is unfolding and what is still to come. I had remarked earlier last week that I wasn't overly concerned and that lack of concern was concerning to me. As I went to depleted grocery stores and attended media events at half capacity I wonder if I was ignorant to what was really happening.
While I don't think I was dumb or foolish, I do think that details about COVID-19 are being made public at a rapid pace and with that my concern grew with it. It got to the point where as of mid-day Saturday I opted to do one top-up grocery run and cancel all of the plans for this upcoming week.
Let me preface this post by saying that this is just me rambling my own thoughts. I encourage y'all to do your own research and make informed decisions about how you choose to react. There are WAY too many influencers sharing DIY hand sanitizer formulas - just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.
WOO! More posts I can't make money off of and are enjoyable to maybe half a dozen people. Apparently part 1 of this made my friend cry on NYE and in a weird way I'm really proud of that. I have always aimed to write in a way that makes people laugh, cry, and just think about heavy shit in general.
If you haven't read part 1 yet you can read it here, if you want something just for 2019 and more fluffy you can read that here, otherwise: welcome, hello, thank you for showing up.
Y'all don't need an intro though, because you read part 1... right?
(Also, those banner photos. Damnnnn - I really started to figure my shit out and had brows. Hooray!)
Heading into into 2020 I was in my twenties for the majority of the past decade and while I am still young I am amazed by how much I have learnt over the past 10 years. While there is no way I remember every thing (major or otherwise) that has happened to me in the last 10 years I thought it would be special to reflect on major milestones and share the advice I would have given to my younger self.
If you don't want to read me essentially write a letter to myself I would suggest you stop here are ready my 2019 year in review instead. That's a lot more lighthearted.
I will be talking about body issues, relationships and sex, social anxiety and a whole lot of other uncomfortable things. Please note that everything is advice that I would give my younger self. I've never been great at being one of those writers that tells other people what to think and what to do. I would feel like a fucking fraud if I wrote something called something fluffy like "what you should know before 30" or "things to take with you into the new decade" because I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing. All I can do is tell you how I feel and advice that would have meant a lot to me, it doesn't mean that any of it may ring true to you.
This is also quite lengthy - however I will let you know that the last few aren't as long because a lot of the lessons I've learnt took me more than one year to learn them. I'll get back to you in a few years and let you know what I was busy learning in 2019.
(Also, I did plan for this to include all 10 years but I got half way through and realized how long this was getting so I decided to break it up - I know what you're thinking - there has been a ton of personal posts lately. WELL, this is my blog and I do what I want. You can probably tell that I am shit at monetizing this blog and this whole thing is a combination review blog and personal diary anyways.)
Welcome y'all to that weird time between Christmas and New Years where y'all are trying to fill your time before entering the new year.
It would be easy for me to say 2019 sucked. Shitty things that happened included: having to face one of my biggest fears (going to the dentist) and I actually ended up having to get a tooth extracted and all the dental work drained my saving accounts, losing my job which resulted in my imposter syndrome going into overdrive and having to cancel my trip home for the holidays since it wasn't financially reasonable to travel, having to say goodbye to people who mean the world to me.
But this year also brought me so much joy, accomplishments, and fuck-yeah moments I want to celebrate as well so I wanted to take the opportunity to praise those things instead. If you're wondering why I know when all this stuff happened it's because I keep a paper agenda and take photos of fucking everything. Buckle in.
(Also, this past year I have written more consistently than I ever had before - so thank y'all for being here.)
Photo by Caleigh Mayer
Let me just preface this by saying that if you came here to read something well written and thoughtfully expressed you probably came to the wrong blog. This was written in one sitting session, barely edited and in a way that is reminiscent of how I used to write in my diary in junior high. Just non-stop rambling and writing my thought process in real time.
I'll be honest with y'all, this post started off as something much different. I had something all set to go for October 17th outlining why I haven't been blogging as much and giving a bit of a rundown of what I've been doing this summer instead of focusing on creating content. Since I ended up deleting that entire post let me give you the cliff notes on what that post was:
Yep. I had all that and more ready to go. Saved in my drafts, set to automatically post at 12PM October 17th. Was going to use the same photo, wrote a witty Instagram caption, the works. It was all set to go and I was excited to dip my toes back into blogging. That morning I woke up, went to work at my office job, was feeling a bit hungry so I stopped by a restaurant nearby to grab a breakfast sandwich and about half way through my breakfast sandwich I was terminated from my job.