It is a weird and anxiety ridden time at the moment and we are all feeling apprehensive of what is unfolding and what is still to come. I had remarked earlier last week that I wasn't overly concerned and that lack of concern was concerning to me. As I went to depleted grocery stores and attended media events at half capacity I wonder if I was ignorant to what was really happening.

While I don't think I was dumb or foolish, I do think that details about COVID-19 are being made public at a rapid pace and with that my concern grew with it. It got to the point where as of mid-day Saturday I opted to do one top-up grocery run and cancel all of the plans for this upcoming week.

Let me preface this post by saying that this is just me rambling my own thoughts. I encourage y'all to do your own research and make informed decisions about how you choose to react. There are WAY too many influencers sharing DIY hand sanitizer formulas - just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

WOO! More posts I can't make money off of and are enjoyable to maybe half a dozen people. Apparently part 1 of this made my friend cry on NYE and in a weird way I'm really proud of that. I have always aimed to write in a way that makes people laugh, cry, and just think about heavy shit in general.

If you haven't read part 1 yet you can read it here, if you want something just for 2019 and more fluffy you can read that here, otherwise: welcome, hello, thank you for showing up.

Y'all don't need an intro though, because you read part 1... right?

(Also, those banner photos. Damnnnn - I really started to figure my shit out and had brows. Hooray!)

Heading into into 2020 I was in my twenties for the majority of the past decade and while I am still young I am amazed by how much I have learnt over the past 10 years. While there is no way I remember every thing (major or otherwise) that has happened to me in the last 10 years I thought it would be special to reflect on major milestones and share the advice I would have given to my younger self.

If you don't want to read me essentially write a letter to myself I would suggest you stop here are ready my 2019 year in review instead. That's a lot more lighthearted.

I will be talking about body issues, relationships and sex, social anxiety and a whole lot of other uncomfortable things. Please note that everything is advice that I would give my younger self. I've never been great at being one of those writers that tells other people what to think and what to do. I would feel like a fucking fraud if I wrote something called something fluffy like "what you should know before 30" or "things to take with you into the new decade" because I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing. All I can do is tell you how I feel and advice that would have meant a lot to me, it doesn't mean that any of it may ring true to you.

This is also quite lengthy - however I will let you know that the last few aren't as long because a lot of the lessons I've learnt took me more than one year to learn them. I'll get back to you in a few years and let you know what I was busy learning in 2019.

(Also, I did plan for this to include all 10 years but I got half way through and realized how long this was getting so I decided to break it up - I know what you're thinking - there has been a ton of personal posts lately. WELL, this is my blog and I do what I want. You can probably tell that I am shit at monetizing this blog and this whole thing is a combination review blog and personal diary anyways.)

I'll be honest with y'all, this post started off as something much different. I had something all set to go for October 17th outlining why I haven't been blogging as much and giving a bit of a rundown of what I've been doing this summer instead of focusing on creating content. Since I ended up deleting that entire post let me give you the cliff notes on what that post was:

• I have been travelling for the first time in my adult life ever. I went to Whistler and Calgary with Vita, NYC for my first real adult vacation and I am heading to California next month with Vita.
• Blogging was (and still is) something that I do for fun. I don't even call it a side hustle, because Vita is my side hustle. This blog is a thing I do when I feel like it and I want to. If I don't have the capacity to post regularly or have nothing I want to post about I am not going to beat myself up over it. I get it. Other people have to get secure that bag and create content regularly, but that has never been my objective. Hell, since the half way point of this year I have only posted 10 blog posts (2 of them being last week) and 30 Instagram posts (again, 2 of them being last week).

Yep. I had all that and more ready to go. Saved in my drafts, set to automatically post at 12PM October 17th. Was going to use the same photo, wrote a witty Instagram caption, the works. It was all set to go and I was excited to dip my toes back into blogging. That morning I woke up, went to work at my office job, was feeling a bit hungry so I stopped by a restaurant nearby to grab a breakfast sandwich and about half way through my breakfast sandwich I was terminated from my job.