This reoccurring category features me trying on clothes based on suggested sizing. Since there is no such thing as "standardized sizing" I have little to no expectations that things are going to fit properly. I'm 5' "tall" making inseams always an issue. I'm what Victoria Secret calls a 34DDD (yes that is a real size) meaning I have a large bust, but a small waist so normally the top half of my torso wants an XL but the lower half want a M. I also have what a drag queen once called "saddlebaggin' hips" - hence my preference of calling my body type an hourglass with extra minutes.
I have been trying to buy jeans for an entire year. Last year I ripped through the crotch of my favourite pair of blue jeans. They were also my only pair of blue jeans; a pair of 7 for All Mankind I had purchased about 4 years prior. In this time my weight has fluctuated and shifted a lot however I never really noticed because wearing denim is not my go-to, I instead opt for skirts and dresses (yes, even in the winter). When I first tried to replace my jeans I quickly got frustrated because my usual size 28 jean did not fit anymore. An occasional tear was shed in a dressing room or two and after a few attempts I gave up on replacing my jeans - just in time for when the weather warmed up so fuck pants, am I right?
Well. It took me all summer to get over my fear of denim shopping and I decided, "so what if I'm not a size 27 anymore? Just buy something that fits you that you like." With this new found confidence I went to a store and quickly got discouraged again because sizing is bullshit. From there it lead to me actually taking my measurements, asking strangers on the internet to tell me their favourite brands of denim and looking up what my suggested size was for each of those brands.
Topshop was the most frequent suggestion from friends when they found out I was looking for a new pair of jeans. One of the perks of shopping at Topshop is that they offer petite sizing so anytime I can avoid the cost of getting denim hemmed that's a definite consideration in terms of budgeting for a good pair of jeans. Their pricing ranges from about $65 CAD a pair and go up from there so Topshop is definitely budget friendly.
Navigating their suggested sizing online was super easy to figure out and I like that there was a picture of where to measure because what they call a waist measurement is really where your hips are and without that display I may have read the chart incorrectly. According to their sizing guide I should be a UK size 10.
Image via Topshop.com
JONI - SUPER HIGH-WAISTED SKINNY
To the left is what it's suppose to look like (image courtesy of Topshop), to the right is what it looks like on me :/ Please excuse the fact that the change rooms in Topshop features the shittiest lighting and also the floors are never clean.
Hello camel toe and muffin top galore! I technically "fit" into my suggest size but it was super uncomfortable and extremely unflattering. It was tight in the hips so it altered my overall figure, flattening out my hips like I was wearing Spanx that were still a size too small. The pant was definitely more like a legging and less like denim, nonetheless, still not enough stretch to accommodate these curves. I honestly can't imagine being able to wear these jeans all day and due to their stretchy thin fabric I would imagine that the crotch would be the first thing to go on a pair of Joni's.
FEATURES: Super high rise, spray-on skinny, stretch.
PROS: Super stretchy.
CONS: Would 100% rip in no time. People always recommend the Joni to me, yet every time I've asked if they've ever lasted anyone more than a year people realize that they do not. It does not fit in the waist, hips or in the crotch. Also, no front pockets - not even fake ones.
JAMIE - HIGH-WAISTED SKINNY
To the left is what it's suppose to look like (image courtesy of Topshop), to the right is what it looks like on me :/ How cute is my manicure and pedicure though?
The Jamie is made up of the kind of denim I prefer. A thicker denim that has a bit of stretch, but not so much that you could rip them instantly. I could see why they are a Topshop best seller. The quality and the way they felt on were ideal. They were the perfect amount of skinny where I felt secure in them but not constricted in them. However, it did give me an instant gut where there wasn't one before (okay, maybe there was one - but these jeans changed the shape of my body in a really weird way).
FEATURES: High rise, super skinny, stretch
PRO: They fit in the waist! No muffin top! These were the only jeans I think I would be able to wear all day.
CONS: I have no clue what is going on with the fit throughout the hips. It created this weird crease where my legs meet my pelvis creating this weird Barbie doll leg affect. It was really unflattering while I was standing since it created this weird beer belly looking effect.
MOM - HIGH-WAISTED TAPERED LEG
To the left is what it's suppose to look like (image courtesy of Topshop), to the right is a picture of the tag because this did not fucking fit.
I couldn't even get this pair up. Not done up, but even past my knees. I would share a picture but it would be obscene.
FEATURES: High rise, tapered fit, no stretch
PROS: Um. Hanger appeal? I do also like that they were a true twill denim.
CONS: The fit was a joke and these jeans made me feel horrible about my body. Usually mom jeans are high-waisted styles that are a bit roomier in the butt and thighs but considering I couldn't even get these past my knees, I'll never know.
So Topshop is going to be a no-go for future denim shopping trips. There wasn't a single pair that wasn't an immediate "no" the second I tried them on. Truth be told, Topshop was the store I first tried over a year ago when I needed new jeans and I left feeling extremely discouraged. I'm not plus side, but I'm definitely very curvy and none of their jeans suited my body type.
For the purposes of doing a quick write up I tried on their 3 most popular styles, however I have tried on every pair of skinny, tapered and cropped denim available in store at Topshop and have had no luck. For those of you that swear by Topshop denim, I'm glad you were able to make it work for you and I wish it had worked out for me. Their selection is extensive and the price point is ideal for budget-conscious shoppers however overall it'll be a pass from me.
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